Why Self-Care Is Not Selfish: It’s Your Healing Tool

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Making room for yourself: self-care during stressful times

Life can become so full of work, family needs and everyday responsibilities that rest starts to feel like something we have to earn. When stress or anxiety builds, even basic things—sleeping well, eating regularly, seeing a friend—can slip down the list. Making time to care for yourself is a practical way to protect your health and stay connected to what matters to you.

Self-care does not need to be expensive, time-consuming or tied to any particular belief. For one person, it might mean prayer or time with a faith community. For another, it might be quiet reflection, a walk outside, music or a conversation with a friend. There is no single right way to rest.

What does self-care actually mean?

Self-care includes ordinary habits that support physical and emotional wellbeing: enough sleep, regular meals, movement you enjoy, time with people you trust and breaks from constant demands. It can also mean setting a boundary, asking for help, attending a medical appointment or saying no when your capacity is stretched.

It is not another task to do perfectly. When you are exhausted, a small, realistic step may be more useful than an ambitious routine that adds pressure.

1. A pause can help you reset

Stress can narrow our attention to the next problem. Taking a few minutes to breathe slowly, step outdoors or notice what is happening around you can create space to respond more calmly. The World Health Organization offers short, practical exercises for coping with stress that can be used in everyday life. You might prefer stillness, meditation, prayer or simply putting your phone away while you drink a cup of tea.

Try asking yourself: What do I need in the next ten minutes? The answer might be a glass of water, a break, company or a chance to finish one manageable task.

2. Rest supports you when demands keep growing

Self-care cannot remove every source of stress, especially when caring responsibilities, financial pressure or work conditions are involved. It can, however, help you notice when the load has become too heavy. Persistent exhaustion, irritability, poor sleep or feeling detached from things you usually value are signs to slow down and seek support.

Sometimes the most helpful step is a practical change: sharing a task, taking leave, discussing workload or arranging help at home. You do not have to solve every problem by becoming better at coping with it alone.

3. Your needs matter too

People who care for others often feel guilty about taking time for themselves. Yet your need for rest, connection and support deserves attention in its own right. A quiet hour, a hobby or an appointment with a health professional is not a reward for completing everything else.

For those who draw strength from religion or spirituality, personal practices may be part of this care. Others find meaning through nature, relationships, creativity or community. Choose what feels supportive and consistent with your own values.

4. Caring for yourself can help your relationships

Rest does not guarantee patience or solve every conflict, but it may make it easier to listen, communicate and be present. It also gives others permission to be honest about their limits. Caring for yourself and caring for others can sit alongside each other.

A simple place to start

Choose one step that fits your life this week:

  • Take a short walk or spend a few minutes outdoors.
  • Keep a regular bedtime where possible.
  • Share how you are feeling with someone you trust.
  • Make space for prayer, reflection, mindfulness or quiet, if that helps you.
  • Reduce time spent on news or social media if it leaves you feeling overwhelmed.
  • Ask for help with one specific task.

If stress or anxiety persists, affects sleep or daily life, or feels difficult to manage, speak with your GP or a mental health professional. Self-care can support recovery, but it does not have to carry the whole burden of treatment. If you feel at risk of harming your

self or need immediate help in Australia, call 000 or visit the nearest emergency department. You can also contact Lifeline on 13 11 14.

This article is general wellbeing information, not a substitute for individual medical or mental health care.

Further reading

Food and urological health: what does the evidence say?

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Food and drink can influence some urinary conditions, particularly recurrent kidney stones. A balanced eating pattern also supports general health. But the evidence does not support calling individual foods “urology-friendly” treatments or claiming that a berry, seed or spice will prevent urinary tract infections (UTIs), prostate enlargement or cancer. The useful advice depends on the diagnosis and the person.[1–4]

 

Start with the whole diet

The Australian Dietary Guidelines recommend a variety of vegetables, fruit, wholegrain foods and suitable protein foods, while limiting foods high in salt.[1] That is a more reliable starting point than a list of purported “superfoods.” People with kidney disease, recurrent stones or other medical conditions may need more specific advice from their treating team.

1. Berries and the cranberry question

Blueberries, strawberries and raspberries can be enjoyed as fruit, but evidence about cranberry products should not be extended to all berries. A Cochrane review of 50 trials found that cranberry juice, tablets or capsules probably reduce symptomatic, culture-confirmed UTIs in women with recurrent UTIs, and found benefit in some other groups. It found little or no clear benefit in several other populations. Product preparations and doses differ, and no standard effective dose has been established.[3]

Cranberry products are a possible prevention measure for selected people, not a treatment for an infection that is already present. Recurrent urinary symptoms also warrant assessment: not every episode of burning or urgency is caused by a bacterial UTI.[3]

2. Watermelon, water and kidney stones

 

Watermelon contributes fluid and can be part of a varied diet, but it has no special “detoxifying” action. The kidneys filter blood continuously; eating watermelon does not flush out a diagnosed infection or stone.

For many people with recurrent stones, adequate fluid intake is one of the better supported preventive measures. European Association of Urology (EAU) guidance recommends enough fluid, preferably water, to produce more than 2.5 litres of urine in 24 hours for stone prevention.[2] This is a urine output target, not an instruction for everyone to drink a fixed amount of water. Fluid needs vary with heat, activity and health conditions. People with a prescribed fluid restriction, including some with kidney or heart disease, should follow individual advice.[2, 8]

3. Leafy greens and oxalate

Vegetables are part of a healthy eating pattern. There is no reason for everyone to avoid spinach or other leafy greens. However, spinach contains substantial oxalate, which can matter for some people with calcium oxalate stones and high urinary oxalate. In that setting, limiting excessive intake of high-oxalate foods may be useful.[2]

Stone prevention is more nuanced than cutting out one vegetable. Stone composition, blood tests and sometimes a 24-hour urine collection can guide advice. EAU guidance generally discourages restricting normal dietary calcium, since adequate calcium intake can help reduce intestinal oxalate absorption; advice on supplements is different and should be individualised.[2]

4. Fish and dietary protein

fatty fish , urology food, urology brisbane,

Fish is one protein choice within the Australian Dietary Guidelines.[1] Oily fish contains omega-3 fats, but there is insufficient clinical evidence to claim that eating it treats bladder inflammation or prevents a particular urological disorder.

For some stone formers, the overall amount of animal protein may be more relevant than selecting one type of fish. Excess animal protein can change urine chemistry in ways that favour stone formation. Any change should fit the person’s nutritional needs and stone risk profile.[2]

5. Pumpkin seeds and prostate health

Pumpkin seeds can contribute nutrients, including zinc, to a varied diet. That does not mean they prevent benign prostate enlargement or prostate cancer, or replace assessment of urinary symptoms. Cancer Council Australia concludes that evidence about specific dietary factors is insufficient to recommend a food or supplement for prostate cancer prevention.[4]

“Natural” supplements are not automatically beneficial. For example, a large prevention trial found an increased prostate cancer risk in men assigned vitamin E alone, illustrating why a plausible biological theory is not enough to justify a prevention claim.[5]

6. Turmeric: food versus supplements

urogolgy food, tumeric

Turmeric is a spice; curcumin is one of its constituents. Laboratory findings about inflammation do not demonstrate that adding turmeric to meals prevents or treats urinary disease. The US National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health says there is not enough evidence to draw firm conclusions about many proposed health benefits of oral turmeric or curcumin.[6]

Concentrated supplements are different from ordinary culinary use. Some formulations designed to increase curcumin absorption have been associated with liver injury. Tell your treating clinician about supplements, particularly before an operation or when taking regular medicines.[6]

Practical steps if you have urinary symptoms

For someone with recurrent kidney stones, the strongest dietary starting points are usually appropriate fluid intake, avoiding excess salt and adjusting diet based on stone type and urine results. EAU guidance recommends a mixed diet and generally advises against restricting normal dietary calcium.[2] For someone with recurrent UTIs, the priority is to confirm the diagnosis and consider the full range of prevention options; cranberry is one possible measure for certain groups, with limits to the evidence.[3]

Diet cannot replace assessment of blood in the urine, persistent pain, fever with urinary symptoms, difficulty passing urine or repeated infections. If you have these symptoms, speak with your GP or treating clinician. Advice can then be tailored with input from a urologist or accredited practising dietitian where needed.

This is general educational information, not an individual treatment plan. No food or supplement discussed here is presented as a cure or as a substitute for appropriate medical care.

References

  1. National Health and Medical Research Council. Australian Dietary Guidelines.
  2. European Association of Urology. Guidelines on Urolithiasis: Metabolic Evaluation and Recurrence Prevention.
  3. Williams G, et al. Cranberries for preventing urinary tract infections. Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews, 2023.
  4. Cancer Council Australia. Prostate cancer prevention.
  5. US National Cancer Institute. Selenium and Vitamin E Cancer Prevention Trial (SELECT).
  6. US National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health. Turmeric: Usefulness and Safety.
  7. Kidney Health Australia. Kidney stones.
  8. Healthdirect Australia. Drinking water and your health.

 

Understanding Urology

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Understanding Urology and the People Involved in Your Care

Urology is the medical and surgical specialty concerned with the urinary tract in people of all genders and the male reproductive system. A urologist may assess symptoms involving the kidneys, ureters, bladder, urethra, prostate or testes.

I’m Dr Joseph “Jo” Schoeman, a urologist practising in Brisbane. This page explains the types of concerns that may lead someone to see a urologist, what an appointment may involve, and how the wider team contributes when an operation is needed.

When might someone see a urologist?

People are referred for many reasons, including blood in the urine, recurrent urinary tract infections, kidney stones, difficulty passing urine, urinary leakage, prostate concerns or a suspected cancer of the urinary tract or male reproductive organs. These symptoms have different possible causes. An assessment helps determine what, if any, investigation or treatment is appropriate.

Urological conditions affect people of different ages and genders. Risk factors vary by condition and may include age, medical history, family history, medicines and lifestyle factors. Having a risk factor does not mean that a person will develop a particular condition.

What happens at an appointment?

I usually begin by discussing your symptoms, medical history, medicines and what matters most to you. Depending on the concern, an examination or tests such as a urine test, blood test, imaging or bladder function study may be useful. Not everyone needs every test.

Once we have enough information, we can discuss the options. These may include monitoring, changes to daily habits, medication, a procedure or referral to another clinician. The choice depends on the diagnosis, the expected benefits and downsides of each option, and your preferences. If an operation is being considered, we discuss its risks, alternatives, recovery and the possibility that symptoms may persist or recur.

The theatre team

An operation involves a team, including anaesthetists, theatre nurses and other hospital staff. Each has a role in preparation, the procedure and recovery. I regularly work alongside theatre colleagues, though the individuals involved may differ between procedures.

One informal motto among the team is “Beat the Leak.” It reflects our interest in helping people troubled by urinary leakage. It is a light-hearted phrase, not a promise of cure. Leakage can have several causes; many people can start with non-surgical care, and outcomes from any treatment vary.

If you have a urological concern, your GP can help decide whether a referral to a urologist is appropriate. For appointments with my rooms, call (07) 3371 7288. Fax: (07) 3870 5350.

Dr Jo Schoeman’s website

 

This page is general information. It cannot replace an assessment or predict the result of treatment for an individual.

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“Beat the Leak”: The Team Behind the Surgery

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The Steam, Laser-Beam, Dream-Stream, Uro-Team

People often ask what happens behind the theatre doors. They usually know the surgeon’s name, but the work is done by a team.

I’m fortunate to work regularly with a group of theatre nurses, anaesthetists and support staff who know one another’s routines and are comfortable speaking up. Before an operation starts, we check the plan, the equipment and the details that matter for that particular patient. During the procedure, each person has a job to do, and clear communication helps us respond when a plan needs to change.

Our team has a motto: “Beat the Leak.” It makes us smile, but it also captures a serious part of my work as a urologist. For someone living with urinary incontinence, a leak can mean planning every outing around a toilet, avoiding exercise or worrying about an embarrassing moment. It is easy to underestimate how much that can affect daily life.

“Beat the Leak” is our reminder to listen closely to that experience and work towards better bladder control. The right approach depends on the cause of the leakage. It may involve pelvic floor physiotherapy, changes to daily habits, medication or a procedure. Surgery is appropriate for some people, but no operation can promise a dry outcome for everyone. We discuss the likely benefits, risks and alternatives with each patient before deciding on a plan.

The care continues after the operation. The recovery team helps patients through the first hours, explains what to expect at home and makes sure concerns reach the right person. Follow-up matters too: it gives us a chance to check healing, assess whether treatment has helped and decide if anything else is needed.

I value the skill and kindness of the people I work with in theatre. Our motto may be light-hearted, but the aim behind it is simple: to help each patient feel heard, well cared for and more confident in everyday life.

Dr Joseph “Jo” Schoeman

                     

Cool Hey! Keep an eye out for us at St Andrews War Memorial hospital and the Wesley Hospital

Test the strength of your urine flow

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Do I have the toy for you guys! Ever wondered how fast you urinate? When seeing foam in the bowl is not enough… Remember those days when we could see who urinated the furthest… I am obviously referring to your childhood, out in the bush or garden with your mates, and on the odd occasion of taking a leak at the same time, it would always end in a competition (boys will be boys). Hopefully you have outgrown this as it is probably not socially acceptable to do this anymore. We do experience a bit of this in public toilets occasionally with younger blokes urinating next to you, taking you back down memory-lane to the good-old days.

I generally ask the guys how fast their flow is. I occasionally get a puzzled look… My response would be: “Can you still wee over the fence, or do you wet your shoes? Can you still put foam in the bowl?” There is purpose in the question: A flow rate reveals a lot about a man’s lower urinary tract health. This forms part of the assessment your LUTS (lower urinary tract symptoms). LUTS consist of voiding symptoms and storage symptoms. A slow flow, interrupted flow, stop-start and inability to empty completely are your voiding symptoms. The storage symptoms are urgency, frequency, urge incontinence and urinating more than once a night. These are more prevalent with a bladder issue (overactive bladder) or significant outflow obstruction irritating your bladder. You could also have an overflow incontinence caused by the longstanding obstruction, whether it’s your prostate or a neurological (nerve) issue.

Pre-requirements for a Flowrate is a full bladder with a minimum of 150 cc present in the bladder. For this test, you will urinate into a special funnel that is connected to a measuring device. The device calculates the amount of urine, rate of flow in seconds, and the length of time until all urine has been passed. This information helps evaluate how well the lower urinary tract is working. It also helps figure out if there is a blockage of normal urine outflow. I look at the shape of the curve created on a graph. There a many tell-tale signs in this one examination. Once the flow rate is completed, I do an ultrasound to check how much urine remains in your bladder. I then have a wealth of information regarding the function of your bladder. This assists in decision making in the management of your urological issue.   

A Normal flow rate averages between 11-20ml/s. As you age over 50 your flow rate deteriorates. The flow rate should have a nice bell-curve. Usually, you would empty your bladder in less than 60 seconds. The average bladder volume is 600cc. Residual urine volumes vary with age and gender and should be as low as possible. A value between 100-150 cc is acceptable over the age of 60.

Results from a study published in the Indian Journal of Urology. Flow rates (Qmax values) in adult males were significantly higher than in the elderly and Qmax values in young females were significantly higher than in young males. Qmax values in males increased with age until 15 years old; followed by a slow decline until reaching 50 years old followed by a rapid decline after 50 years old even after correcting voided volume. Qmax values in females increased with age until they reached age 15 followed by decline in flow rate until a pre-menopausal age followed by no significant decline in post-menopausal females. Qmax values increased with voided volume until 700 cc followed by a plateau and decline.  (Age, gender, and voided volume dependency of peak urinary flow rate and uroflowmetry nomogram in the Indian population – PMC (nih.gov)

 

Mean maximum and average flow rate parameters in different age group.

Male population Maximum flow rate Average flow rate
16-50 years old 22.8 ml/sec 13.22ml/sec
>50 year 17.04 ml/sec 8.9ml/sec
Female population Maximum flow rate Average flow rate
Pre-menopausal 21.8 ml/sec 12 ml/sec
Post-menopausal 17.59 ml/sec 10.2 ml/sec
Pediatric population Maximum flow rate Average flow rate
Girls 19.33 ml/sec 11.25 ml/sec
Boys 16.9 ml/sec 9.6 ml/sec

 

Factors influencing your flow rate:

  • Benign prostatic hypertrophy (BPH). This is enlargement of the prostate gland. It is not caused by cancer and often happens in men over age 50. The prostate wraps around the urethra. When it is enlarged, it can narrow the urethra and interfere with normal passage of urine from the bladder. If left untreated, the enlarged prostate can block the urethra completely.
  • Cancer of the prostate or bladder
  • Urinary blockage. A urinary tract blockage can happen for many reasons along any part of the urinary tract, from the kidneys to the urethra. It can lead to a urine backup. This can cause infection, scarring, or even kidney failure if untreated.
  • Neurogenic bladder dysfunction. This is trouble with bladder function due to a nervous system problem, such as a spinal cord tumor or injury.
  • Frequent urinary tract infections. These can cause scarring and damage in the urinary tract.
  • Urine Flow Test | Johns Hopkins Medicine

 

What do I use it for:

  • Diagnosis of an outflow obstruction.
  • Assess the outcome of interventions: medical or surgical.
  • With addition of Urodynamic studies, functional and neurogenic bladder issues can be managed appropriately.

 

So, guys come see me with your full bladders at the Wesley Hospital in Brisbane. Let’s see how well and effective you urinate, and then discuss how we can get you back to care-free urinating. The good old days.